New Beginnings

While I never officially left, I definitely did take a hiatus from blogging. Between the stressors of school and its arbitrary time commitments, I couldn't keep up! Regardless, summer is here and I can now devote time to sharing interesting, sarcastic, and ridiculous moments of my life. A lot has changed. Be on the look out for new posts.

- Dooley

OMG - WHY!?!?

So, my friend Sasha shared this video with me. I am compelled to share this wil all of you. Prepare to embark on an adventure. This IS work safe. Enjoy.....

Hot Ass Mess

New Beginnings: The Piercing

This is a snippet of the write up I did for my HEV 510 assignment, for this week. I felt like it belongs here. Check it out:

Thinking back to my childhood, I can easily remember my mom’s public decent towards young males with earrings. While I can’t say she hated them, she definitely could not stand them. I remember one incident where one of my older cousins got his ear pierced. She said passionately, “Don’t get any ideas, Jamelle! You won’t have any piercings while you’re living in my house. When you get old enough, get a job, and can be independent, you can do whatever you want!” My mother knew me well. While she knew that I would never disobey her, she knew that at that moment I was thinking about getting an earring. When that incident took place I was twelve or thirteen years old, and now as an emerging adult, approaching twenty-one, I’ve still played around with the idea of piercing my ears.

Last week I blogged in my online journal the following:

“I feel myself moving toward a major part of emerging adulthood, and I’m scared shitless about it. I’m freakishly close to the part of adulthood where one has to cut off parental control. The part of life when you sit down and be totally honest with your parents about yourself, your values, and living the life you want to live… My parents aren’t the most open people I’ve known. I’m sure they would be appalled at some of the things I’ve experienced…


When I saw this assignment encouraged me to take a risk and alter my appearance, I had my mind made up almost instantaneously: I was getting an ear piercing! This assignment gave me an opportunity, and excuse, to do something I’ve thought about doing for years, and delivered the option to do something for myself and get credit for it. It was almost the perfect circumstance. As this assignment suggests, one’s physical appearance is directly connected to his or her sense of self. This is why I use the phrase, “almost perfect.” As a pierced individual, I am unsure how my life will change. While I’m still Jamelle on the inside (the me), my outward appearance has changed (the I). What are other’s preconceived notions and how will these notions change how I experience these individuals? Will I experience life differently? Will my friends, family, and co-workers experience me differently? Health wise, is there anything I need to be concerned about? All of these questions have crossed my mind, and I while I am nervous about the outcome, I’m willing to put my sense of self in jeopardy and proceed as planned. As far as my Mom is concerned: I’m old enough, I have two jobs, and I live in my residence hall year round. This assignment is me making my first move toward being completely independent: making the first move toward adulthood.

As a staff member in Celani Hall I am given the opportunity to stay in the building and work during Spring Break. Seeing as it’s a hassle to get to and from Illinois, I choose to stay and work. I figured this would be the perfect time for me to get my ear pierced: in general, our campus is desolate, and I can use the time to heal up before most people see me in person. I did research on piercings the weekend of March 6, 2009. I spent hours looking at different styles of piercings, different pieces of jewelry, the medical aspect of piercings, and looking for the closest, and safest, place to get pierced. As I traversed the Internet in search for material pertaining to piercings, and watched an almost endless amount of Youtube videos, I became more and more comfortable with the idea of having a pierced ear. The procedure is safe, the risk of infection is low as long as an individual cleans the wound, and one can remove the ring if he or she is unhappy. I was sold. On March 9, 2009, at 2:30pm, I walked into Heritage Tattoo and Piercing, ready to embark on my new journey. I nervously waited fifteen minutes or so, after paying, to get the procedure done. Constantly, I tried to accurately hypothesize how much pain I was about to endure. The attendant opened up fresh tools, gave me a run down of the procedure, and clamped my ear. “Three, two, one,” I took a deep breath and the gentleman pierced my ear. My ear bled for about 90 seconds and it was a good. I felt a stinging discomfort, but no pain. The deed was done: my transformation was complete. “Now it’s time for the hard part,” I told myself. Revealing myself to the world will definitely be much more challenging then the actual piercing.

Addendum

So, I'm sitting here at work and I'm thinking about this incident that happening to me this past Thursday. It's an interesting incident and I feel like I should share.

My fraternity sponsored a date party, last week, and I was the designated sober brother. It was my job to make sure everyone got home safely and that no one got in any trouble. I mention this, as I want people to acknowledge the fact that I was not intoxicated by any means. So, I'm on the dance floor doing what I do best: dancing. This girl walks up to me and says, "You know, you're really a nice guy and all, but I'm scared to dance with you. It's just so... scary." Then, she proceeded to walk away.

Now meditate on the scenario for a moment... How would you have responded? I honestly didn't know if I should have been offended or if I wanted to laugh in this girl's face.

Meditation and Reflection

It’s been too long since I’ve updated this thing! I’ve had so many thoughts, ideas, and events that should have been discussed on here, but I never made time to do so. I really need to get on that, as I forgot how therapeutic this blogging thing is, lol.

This past weekend was eventful. While my headache and lack of sleep is making me feel like garbage: I think it’s worth it. Friday was a Beta night (yeah, I’m a part of a fraternity). We had the Three Fires ritual and “an Eye.” I stayed up for 24 hours, exactly, and enjoyed every minute of it. Every time I take part in a ritual I remember why I continue to be a part of Beta: the brotherhood, the love, and the comradery. Granted, like any organization, we have our up’s and down’s, positives and negatives, but I can honestly say that I’m glad I chose to be a Beta.

Last night was ridiculous! Abu, Melissa, Kayana, Henry, and I got together to celebrate Abu’s 21st birthday. In true “K-Crew” fashion, it was full of mischief and out-of-control fun! We were all a hot ass mess. Apparently I kicked open a door, a la Rambo style, and there’s a dent to prove it. I also proceeded to make out with select individuals, kick Kayana in the head, wrestle with Henry, and wave my hard penis in the air. Abu fell into his closet and cracked the glass. Henry gave us his taxicab confessions and ALL of us were trying to get at Melissa. I personally think she has some weird power that amplifies people’s libidos. Ridiculous? Yeah, I know. I’ve been de-briefing in my head all day and I’m not sure how I feel. On one hand I’m kind of embarrassed. I’m pretty sure I solidified myself as the group “tramp” and most sexually needy. And, I “put myself out there.” On the other hand, I’m appreciative. The “koonery” that took place was with 4 of my best friends: all of us were a mess and I feel our bond got stronger. I haven’t fully analyzed the situation internally, but as it stands I’m indecisive.

Other Thoughts of the Moment

- I really need to figure out what route I’m going to take after graduation. Do I want to go with Dietetics or do I want to go with Family Studies? Do I want to go to grad school? I feel like I have a lot to do and only a short time to do it. These past 3 years have flown by and the next two will only go faster.

- I’m seriously considering getting the hell out of the Midwest, after I graduate. I can only take so much cold: I HATE SNOW AND I HATE WINTER. I really want to go to San Diego, California. Question is: will I get along with the people? I hear Californians are a different ball game: superficial, snooty, and quite rude.

- I feel myself moving toward a major part of emerging adulthood, and I’m scared shitless about it. I’m freakishly close to the part of adulthood where one has to cut off parental control. The part of life when you sit down and be totally honest with your parents about yourself, your values, and living the life you want to live. My parents have this idea about who they want me to be and the values they want me to hold high, and I don’t necessarily agree with their outlook. My parents aren’t the most open, accepting people I’ve known. I’m sure they would be appalled at some of the things I’ve experienced or some of my current ideologies. Both of them have their preconceived notions about a lot of things they’ve never decided to investigate, in addition to having your “typical” African American “Jesus-Jesus” characteristics. I’m hella nervous about what may happen in the future.

- I’m starting to feel like the “black sheep” in my family. Whenever I go home or talk to my family members on the phone, I feel like I have to dumb myself down, for the lack of a better phrase. The experience and knowledge that I’ve received while studying here, in college, has definitely forced me to re-evaluate my life. When compared to the people in my house I feel like: I’m more willing to critically think about things, be open to new ideas, to be more exploratory in all facets of my life, to acknowledge and accept ideas that differ from my own, and to be less inclined to pass judgment on other people. I don’t feel completely comfortable in my home, anymore, and I feel like people think I’m trying to be a smartass.