Sick and Tired

I'm not in the mood to write a long, in depth post. As a result, I'm going to keep this short, sweet, and to the point.

- I'm hurting.

- Today was the first time I've cried in a VERY long time.

- I'm sick and tired of always having to sit in the "backseat." Continuously, I'm forced to be "the guy friend," or "the brother." It's old and to the point where I'm starting to feel resentment.

- I'm so tired of putting myself out there only to get shut down or ignored.

- I'm tired of seeing others enjoy the company of a significant other while I sit here "by myself." I hate to generalize, but this is my experience. Woman continue to request the blessing of a promising man, who won't do her wrong; however, they consistently ignore these gentleman. The asshole, athlete, douche-bag, player, and deadbeat continue to get chosen due to their initial allure, which seems to be almost always connected to money or aesthetics.

- I would be a fool to not acknowledge the people around me, and to not be thankful for the friendships that I've established. I do thank God for those relationships everyday, as without them I wouldn't be who I was today. Nevertheless, altruistic friendships are not enough. The need for passion, intimacy, and commitment cannot be ignored.

Creativity... Or The Lack Thereof?

There's been a lot of conversation, especially in this new millennium, about how current artists use other peoples material for easy gain. Take a quick glance at any form of media and you'll see just about everyone sampling, copying, or utilizing pieces of what the people before us established.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of watching two videos. The first was of Gwen Verdon doing a "Fosse" routine in the 1960's. You can watch it below.



After watching this video I was introduced to Beyonce's new music video for "Single Ladies." I was in awe. Sure, the video was entertaining and to my liking; however, it was VERY SIMILAR to what I saw in the initial video I viewed. Pretty much Beyonce's choreographer took the "fosse" dance, updated it, and rehashed it.

Take a look and compare the two. Beyonce's video can be seen Here .

What do you all think about this? Should people be forced to come up with their own material or should sampling be allowed?

What Do You Think?

Someone sent this to me via Facebook. What do you think about this? Is this a legit argument?

A white man asked his black friend, 'Are you voting for
Barack Obama just because he's black?'

The black man responded by saying, 'Why not? Hell, in this country men are pulled over everyday just cause they're black;
passed over for promotions just cause they're black;
considered to be criminals just cause they're black;
and there are going to be thousands of you who won't be voting for him just because he's black!
However, you do not seem to have a problem with that!

This country was built with the sweat and whip off the black slaves' back, and now a descendent of those same slaves has a chance to lead the same country, where we weren't even considered to be people, where we weren't allowed to be educated, drink from the same water fountains, eat in the same restaurants, or even vote. So yes! I'm going to vote for him! But it's
not just because he's black, but because he is hope, he is change, and he now allows me to understand when my grandson says that he wants to be president when he grows up, it is not a fairy tale but a short term goal. He now sees, understands and knows that he can achieve, withstand and do ANYTHING just because he's black!'

About Me

Disclaimer: I know this post is long, but if you're interested in learning about me as a person and understanding the way I operate, you'll bare with me.

I’ve had a lot of this on my heart over the past few weeks, but I haven’t had the physical time, or motivation, to blog them. College can be very draining at times. School’s been back in session for less than a month and I can already feel its wrath.
While this past summer was spent predominantly working and taking classes, I feel like a lot of personal growth took place. Thinking in retrospect, my coming in contact with others and helping other’s personal gain forced me to lot about myself. I present to you, in list form, a non-comprehensive list of lessons learned this summer:

1. I have a general interest in aiding and improving those who I hold close to my heart, as well as those who I feel a strong connection to. I tend to do this through offering advice, spending money, and encouraging those that I love: even if it wasn’t requested. On the not so positive side, I have the proclivity to critique and criticize my loved ones in an effort to “save” them from making “mistakes.”

2. I do an excellent job at communicating with other people, especially through writing; however, my challenge is expressing matters of the heart. Often I discount, withhold, and even choose to not express these matters.

3. As much as I enjoy not being tied down, I need organization. I have the absolute, utmost hate for disorganized and last minute productions. They urk my soul.

4. I have a basic disrespect for those that consistently judge and critique without offering some sort of alternate plan. Moreover, I have a hard time dealing with those that cannot communication their thoughts and ideas.

5. I’m stubborn and persistent. This can be a dangerous combination, under the correct circumstances. I have a strong dislike for the word “no.” When I have my heart set on something, and my mind is made up, I’ll do anything to get what I want. I continue to pursue whatever it is that I want until I’m satisfied, and often ignore others feelings in the process.

6. I have a general like of the “good things” that life yields. While I do hold other things, such as personal connections and socialism, highly: I thoroughly enjoy material things. Clothing and electronic devices are my weakness.

7. For me, music is a motivating force. It provides me with energy and easily changes my mood and tempo. I love music of all kinds, and turn to it to help me express the things that my words cannot. (Note: If I’ve ever randomly given you a CD, I was trying to express something to you.)

8. I have a ridiculous amount of sexual energy in my system and it’s causing distress in my life. Sex is always on my mind and seems to come up quite frequently. The distress comes from suppressing the energy, and not having a consistent outlet for it. Masturbation is getting old and, for me, sex without an emotional connection is moot. I have a general want to sexually fulfill those I have a passion for, but when that doesn’t exist I’m pretty much fending for myself... if you catch my drift.

9. My current challenge, which seems to be insurmountable, is to find someone that’ll love me as much as I love them. I do realize that I have high expectations for my future significant other; however, they aren’t unrealistic. Can I not have a hood rat? Moreover, all too frequently do I encounter people that shove me in the “brother” category, who are generally not interested, or those who want to hit it and quit it. I’m starting to become frustrated and sort of bitter. Why do tools, athletes, unproductive males, thugs, and unfit men continue to produce, while I’m sitting here by myself? I continue to hear ladies complain about how they want someone to love and care for them, but then they always choose those who fall in one of the previously acknowledged categories. Or, you’ll get a person that continues to stay in a relationship because they’re personally gaining something or because they’re scared to leave. I’m so tired of this bullshit.

10. I don’t like to be rushed or forced to do things. Ask me, encourage me, suggest to me, but never force me. I have a problem when people force me to do things, or when a timetable is set that I feel is unreasonable. Things will happen when I want them to happen, at my suggested frequency.

11. When I get mad, it’s all over!! I’m a happy person. I enjoy living and taking part in life. There are a few triggers that can set off my anger; however, it is usually set off by an individual that consistently bothers me over time. With that said, if I don’t like you (and I clearly differentiate between those I don’t care for and those I REALLY don’t like) I won’t have the slightest regard for you. In my mind, it’s not worth it. No, I don’t respect you. No, I won’t help you. No, you cannot.

Cater 2 U

Cater
Originally uploaded by TheDooley

So, I found an old memory card that I use to use for a camera that I once owned. The photos that I found on it were very interesting. All of them from from my Lathrup days (boo), except for a few. One thing I personally enjoyed was a silly video I made with a few friends. We were bored and parked in a Krispy Kreme parking lot. This is what ensued. My rendition of "Cater 2 U" by Destiny's Child.

See the resemblance? Cater 2 U Official Video