Yeah... It Went Down

Disclaimer: The following entry is rated NC-17. The events depicted in the following entry fall under the category of “too much information.” If you are a casual reader who cares to not hear details about my sex life, I suggest that you skip this entry.



Now let me tell you, wet dreams are a very real phenomenon. Most people think that young, non-masturbating boys have them. FALSE! Men can have them until they die; however, they’re most comment during puberty and the first few years following it. Over my twenty years of living, I’ve had seven: one being just a few minutes ago. I don’t know what it is, but all my wet dreams are really intense. Even though I’m sleep I can feel everything, as if it were happening in real live: pulsations and everything.

Unlike the average human being, I find that I remember a handful of my dreams. All the dreams that I remember are monumental and attention grabbing. They deal with things like death, unrealistic events, life-changing decisions… or they deal with me nutting in my bed. Go figure, right? Every time I have a nocturnal emission, it totally catches me off guard. It always happens randomly, or when I least expect it. I could go to sleep horny as all get out and dream about something normal, like school. Today, I decided to lie down and take a nap. I finally had a chance to sit down, since my camp kids were in class. So, I watch an episode of “The L Word” and doze off. The next thing I remember is me dreaming about tearin’ it up with someone who will not be named. It was ridiculous. I was smashing: lickin’, slurpin’, taggin’. It went down! It happens that way EVERY TIME. Apparently, my body is trying to tell me something, lol.

Reflecting temporally, I’ve always known that I was a freak. Ever since I was around eight, I’ve been familiar with being horny: I started early. Every year since than my sexual urges have grown exponentially. I continuously blame my grandmother and grandfather for passing these genes. My grandma was a superfreak, who decided to mate with my freak of a granddaddy. Thanks to the laws of genetics they produced my freak of a daddy, who in turn passed his freakiness to his son. Awesome! Thank you Mendel! Grace be to the Punnit Square!

Thinking in retrospect, I’ve always felt as if I had to suppress my sexual desire. This is probably the reason I’m so horny all the time. Multiple factors go into my practice of suppressing. The main motivating factor is religion. Being raised in a Christian household, I was always taught to save myself for marriage. Bare your cross daily, right? Wanting to respect God and his word, I obeyed. I was solid until I was fourteen. I gave this chick I knew some head and she blew me in return. Simple experimentation, right? Yeah, it was; nevertheless, I had opened Pandora’s box. That single incident fueled my need for experimentation. No, I wasn’t actively looking for experimentation subjects, but if it happened I let it proceed. Now, as an adult studying family studies and human sexuality, I find myself in an interesting position. I recognize that sexuality and libido is a natural thing. Humans are sexual beings and have a need for sexual satisfaction. My question is, “How does sexuality and humans need for sex fit into spirituality? Can they co-exist?” I’ve been taught to preserve myself, but at this point I find it ridiculous and extremely hard to completely suppress my want for sex. Is asking a teenager or young adult to not engage in sexual activity reasonable? You cannot ignore the body’s innate drives. When you’re hungry you eat. When you’re thirsty you drink. So, when you’re horny you have sex. If one accepts pre-marital sex as wrong, what is the compromise? When someone finds the answer let me know. As it stands I’ve undertaken a modified abstinence approach: no sex without being in a relationship. “Personal time” is kept at a reasonable frequency and casual encounters are kept at an extremely low volume. I refuse to be out in the world, accumulating a large volume of sexual partners. Furthermore, I will not become another statistic. HIV is not for me.