Memories

Many people don't know this about me, but I was a BIG MC Hammer fan back in the day. My and my cousin, Darien, would be in my Grandma's kitchen jammin'. Today I was surfing YouTube and came across this music video. I know ya'll remember this!


MC Hammer - Bump in a Bump

How you gon' try and be hard in a banana hammock? LOL.

Also:
Salt N' Pepa - Shoop

Ya'll remember when Bill Nye remixed this?

Weekend in Texas

My weekend in Dallas, Texas can be summed up in one phrase: FREAKIN' AMAZING! My experience was very positive, the people I came in contact with were great, and the weather was beautiful (even if was a million degrees outside). For those of you who were not aware, I spent August 7 - August 10 in Dallas. The occasion: Beta Theta Pi's 169th Convention. Five guys from my chapter, and myself, few out for a four day fraternity onslaught: 24/7 Beta Theta Pi oriented activity. I spent my time participating in a leadership conference, re-visiting fraternity ritual, and connecting with brothers from all over the United States and Canada. I couldn't have asked for more.

* My greek little brother, Klappy, took me to Lansing airport at 4:30am. We loaded up on McDonalds and Monster energy drink and hit the road. I arrived at the airport around 6am: my flight took off at 7. My airport experience was pretty good, BUT OF COURSE I got stopped at the security gate. If anyone has visited Lansing's airport, they'll tell you one thing: it's structured a little oddly. I literally didn't know where I was supposed to drop my bags off. Naturally, I thought it was a good idea to ask. I pulled one of the security guards aside and said, "Hey, do I need to go through here? Is this the security check point?" This dude had the nerve to cop an attitude. He replied, "If you're trying to fly out of here today..." I really wanted to say something to him, especially since I was already irritated that I had to get up at the crack of dawn, but I didn't. I entered the security section and, of course, was chosen for the "random" security checks. Personally, I don't think it was random. Moreover, I wouldn't be surprised if it was racially motivated. At that time I was the only person of color in the whole damn airport. Maybe they thought I had a gun. Of course I could be totally wrong, but in that case the security guard just wanted to touch my ass. LOL.

To my surprise, and great appreciation, my step-father booked me first class tickets to Dallas. It was cool. The airline clearly distinguished between those in Coach and those in First Class. We were served first, we had a hot meal, cold beverages, and a flight attendant that focused on our section. The seats were wider and we didn't have to deal with any unruly fliers... except this one guy. There was this guy, of African Decent, who tried to run this other guy's first class seat. It was actually kind of funny. The flight attended was trying to explain to the man that someone had purchased that seat, but he wasn't hearin' her. It got to the point where another attended had to come over and break it down. Me bein' silly: I had that one scene from Coming to America playin in my head. You know.... yeah, that one.


* When I was in Texas I had the opportunity to visit Six Flags Over Dallas. While I totally prefer Six Flags Great America, I had a nice time. It was cool to look around the park and see the 1,000 Betas that had flown in to partake in the convention. Back in 2005 my friend Liz moved out to the Dallas area. I gave her a call and we connected at the park. We had an amazing time. We road some coasters, played some DDR.... it was all good. After the fact we went back to De Soto (where she resides) and hung out at Sonic's. As you can see Here and Here we acted a foo'.


Photos from Texas Please excuse my looking like a slave. I wasn't able to get a haircut before my departure, lol.

Steinberg's Triangular Theory of Love

Over the last three years, every single family studies and human growth and development course I've ever had has brought up this topic. In all of the things I've ever learned in class, it's one of my favorites: Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love. In 1986, Robert Sternberg developed a theory focused on the qualities of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Passion involves physical attraction, sexual desire, and intense emotions such as jealousy. Think of those innate drives that initiate and control romance. Intimacy involves feelings of closeness and emotional attachment. Included in the idea is mutual support and communication issues (verbal and non-verbal). Lastly, is commitment. It's exactly what it implies: a pledge to love someone over time, regardless of the things one may encounter.

According to Sternberg's theory, each of the three characteristics of love can be combined into seven different combination, forming different types of love: liking, infatuation, romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love, empty love, and consummate love. Each "type" of love is very different and distinct.




Intimacy alone forms "liking." This is the kind of love that drives basic friendships. There is no commitment, thus there is no longevity.

Passion alone forms "infatuation." There is no emotional connection or longevity, but a major focus on physiological and emotional arousal. This is the driving force behind one night stands and booty calls.

Commitment along forms "empty love." Ever see a couple that was together, but there was nothing there? This is that type of love.

Passion and intimacy forms "romantic love." Most people call this being "in love," but they're incorrect. This is what drives those intense feelings inside; however, there is no longevity. Eventually these feels fade and people move on.

Passion and commitment form "fatuous love." This form is completely garbage, also being called "silly love." A good example of this form are relations ships that are formed too fast. People immediate fall passionately in "love", get married, and with in a short period of time break up.

Intimacy and commitment form "companionate" love. This form of love is very intimate and has elements of longevity; however, it lacks sexual and physical interactions. Think familial love and relationships between really good friends.

Intimacy, passion, and commitment form the ultimate type of love. This is what people should strive for: consummate love. Consummate love involves dedication to a long term relationship, the sexual desire and fire that comes along with passion, and the intimacy of a deep friendship. It is said that consummate love is hard to maintain, but easier to manifest. Over time many relationships lose its passion aspect, and transforms into companionate love.

Two For One!

I’m so ready for this film: Alfie Woodard, Sanaa Lathan, Kathy Bates, AND Taraji P. Henson (The chick from Hustle and Flow)!! How did Tyler Perry get all these people? This is going to be an awesome film! Excellent actors.

Please Watch This Video:

Unrequited Love: The Resolution

Well, it’s finally over.

I’ve finally reached a sound place in my heart, within this giant mess. For the last seven months or so, I’ve been tangled in a giant web of passion: an issue of the heart. For those of you aren’t aware of what’s going on, I suggest you read this:

"Shit Hit The Fan"

I’ve been attempting to seek a resolution to this situation for a while. I’ve meditated, prayed, the whole nine. My solution came to me during a conversation with Melissa, nonetheless. It all began with me bringing up this quote, “Never make someone a priority that makes you an option.” I randomly encountered that somewhere on the internet, and came in contact with it again while watching TV. We meditated on the quote, the events thus far, and I realized what I had to do: withdraw myself from this incident all together. As much as I want to wait, I won’t do it anymore. That’s not to say that I don’t have the ability to do so, it’s just not the right move. I believe that if we’re supposed to be together, it’ll happen, but right now, I have to let her go. It’s really hard, as I have a genuine love for this girl, but it needs to be done.

I feel like I should be pissed about all this, but I’m really not. I’m leaving this situation with tons more than I had entering it: a solid friendship, a league of wisdom, and more courage. At least I’m not totally empty handed. I think it’s awesome that I’ve had an opportunity to experience “true love.” You know how many people never have this experience? I know that sometime in the near future I will find someone. You know I’ll keep you all posted.

Melissa Antoinette Clarke: The first love of my life. Thanks for the ride!